About Me......

About Me

Hi! I’m Colleen (Ms. Lash), Secretary to the Principals at Memorial Middle School.

I have been with Medford Township Public Schools since 2001, which means I have been here long enough to remember a time before Chromebooks, mass emails, online registrations, and approximately 700 different passwords were required to educate a child.

My official title is Secretary to the Principal. My unofficial title is more along the lines of “Ask Lash, she probably knows.”

And if I don’t know, I will find out. Mostly because unanswered questions bother me.

 

🎓 Graduation

I coordinate our 8th Grade Graduation from beginning to end, including gowns, diplomas, tickets, venue arrangements, communications, and all the other tiny details required to successfully graduate an entire class. ( I have thought about "scalping" tickets to graduation, but it will be frowned upon from Admin).

Basically, if it involves graduation, I probably ordered it, counted it, alphabetized it, emailed about it, put it in a spreadsheet, checked it twice, lost sleep over it, or asked someone why they waited until the last possible minute to tell me about it.

And every year, somehow, they graduate.

 

🚌 School Trips

I coordinate our major school trips, including Hersheypark and JCC, handling registrations, payments, paperwork, communications, transportation details, rosters, and logistics.

There is something uniquely exciting about organizing hundreds of middle school students for a trip and expecting everyone to be in the correct place at the correct time with everything they were specifically told to bring.

I remain optimistic.

 

🌐 School Website

I am Memorial’s webmaster, which means I maintain and update our school website so families have access to current information, dates, activities, clubs, announcements, and other important details.

I put the information there.

Whether anyone actually reads it is, unfortunately, outside my jurisdiction.

 

📧 Family Communications

I prepare and send many of the mass emails that go out to Memorial families, containing important dates, reminders, instructions, deadlines, and other information.

I try to make them clear, detailed, and easy to understand and a tad bit sarcastic - I think they get read more!

And yes, sometimes I receive a question five minutes later that was answered in paragraph one (that's a hard one, have to bite my tongue!)

It keeps me humble.

 

📅 School Calendar & Electronic Sign

I maintain our school calendar and keep track of events, activities, important dates, and everything else happening at Memorial.

I also manage the electronic school sign at the end of our driveway, where I post upcoming events, dates, announcements, and reminders.

So between the website, calendar, emails, and the giant electronic sign you physically drive past, I make every reasonable effort to keep everyone informed.

Will someone still call the Main Office and ask when the event is?

Absolutely.

And I will give them the answer.

Probably with a smile.

Probably.

 

🎨 Clubs & Activities

I coordinate everything involving our after-school clubs, including advisors, schedules, locations, registrations, rosters, webpages, communications, and the countless little details required to make the program work.

I also spend a surprising amount of time explaining that when a club says FULL, it does not mean “full unless you call Ms. Lash.”

It means full.

I admire the persistence, though.

 

💻 Chromebooks

I handle our student Chromebooks, including troubleshooting, exchanges, repairs, returns, loaners, and devices that arrive in the Main Office suffering from various mysterious ailments.

Let’s start with my Big Three Chromebook Pet Peeves:

“I forgot my Chromebook.”
“I didn’t charge my Chromebook.”
“I lost my Chromebook.”

Parents, if one of these becomes a recurring theme, you may receive an email from me. Rest assured, it will be polite, professional, properly punctuated, and completely appropriate for a school setting.

What I am thinking while writing it will remain between me and my keyboard.

Then there are the Chromebooks that actually need my help.

Sometimes they simply stop working.

Sometimes the screen is shattered.

Sometimes keys are missing.

Sometimes it looks like the Chromebook has been dropped down a flight of stairs, run over by a small vehicle, and possibly used as a lunch tray.

And sometimes the explanation is simply:

“I don’t know what happened.”

That last one is remarkably common.

My personal favorite is when I ask, “What happened to it?” and get:

“Nothing.”

Nothing. Fascinating. Apparently Chromebooks are now spontaneously destroying themselves.

After all these years, I have learned that sometimes it’s better not to ask too many questions.

Just hand me the Chromebook.

 

🏀 Athletics

I handle sports registrations, payments, paperwork, and related administrative details for our student athletes.

Forms need to be completed. Deadlines need to be met. Payments need to be submitted.

These are apparently controversial concepts.

Nevertheless, we persevere.

 

🏫 Building Scheduling

I coordinate room and facility reservations for our staff and administrators.

This involves making sure two people aren't attempting to use the same room at the same time, which sounds remarkably simple until you've worked in a school.

Then you understand.

 

🍕 Lunch Duty

You may also find me supervising students during lunch.

Hundreds of middle school students.

Eating.

At the same time.

There really isn't anything else that needs to be said about that.

 

🏆 Student Recognition

I help coordinate our student/staff recognition breakfasts for nominated students because I genuinely enjoy celebrating our kids when they're doing something right.

And despite all the jokes, we have a lot of wonderful students at Memorial who deserve to be recognized.

Also, there is breakfast.

Everybody wins.

 

📝 Discipline

I maintain and log student discipline records.

For privacy reasons, that's about all I'm going to say about that.

But let's just say middle school students continue to provide us with fresh material.

 

📚 Parent-Teacher Conferences, NJSLA & High School Registration

I assist with Parent-Teacher Conferences, NJSLA preparation, Genesis questions, and help our Guidance Office with the process of registering our 8th graders for high school.

Each of these involves schedules, deadlines, paperwork, technology, and many moving pieces.

In other words, exactly the sort of thing that somehow ends up on my desk.

 

📖 And Everything Else...

I order student agenda books, maintain and update school phone lists and information, assist with preschool-related needs, work various school events, answer questions, solve problems, find missing information, track things down, and deal with whatever unexpected situation decides to wander into the Main Office that day.

General problem solving is probably the biggest part of my job.

If a student needs help, a parent has a question, a staff member needs something, an event needs organizing, technology isn't cooperating, something has gone missing, or something simply makes absolutely no sense...

There's a pretty good chance someone will eventually say:

“Ask Ms. Lash.”

 

😏 A Little About Me Personally..

I should probably include one important disclaimer:

I am extremely sarcastic. Possibly to a fault.

Sarcasm is basically my second language, and after more than two decades working in a middle school, I consider it less of a personality trait and more of a survival skill.

If I tease you, give you a hard time, or answer your question with a question, there's a very good chance I like you.

I genuinely love helping people, solving problems, and being part of the Memorial community.

I just reserve the right to be sarcastic while doing it.

When I'm not at Memorial, I enjoy spending time with my family, boating, fishing, clamming, traveling, going to concerts, and my chickens (I really love my chickens - who wouldn't, it is the pet that poops breakfast!). I love being near the water and will happily choose a boat over almost any other form of transportation.

After all these years, I can confidently say there is no such thing as a typical day at Memorial Middle School.

There will be forgotten Chromebooks, last-minute changes, mysterious problems, missing paperwork, unexpected situations, and questions whose answers are already on the website, in an email, on the calendar, and flashing on a giant electronic sign at the end of the driveway.

And tomorrow?

We'll get up and do it all over again.

Welcome to Memorial. If you need help, come find me.

I'll help you.

I just can't promise I won't be sarcastic about it. 😉